awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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