I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
