I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
