Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize