were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
And then my night got REAL pukey
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
