Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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