yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
