you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize