And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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