just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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