I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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