I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize