you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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