he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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