I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
