Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
