she was so not down for the gang bang
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
