do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
