im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
