I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
