WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
