Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
