did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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