I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
