A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
