My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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