so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
