Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I will pee on everything he values.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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