Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
