you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
