so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
