I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
