She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
