Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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