we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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