How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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