he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
