i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
