I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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