Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm passing your future prison.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
