Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize