I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
