Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
