Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
