my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
