I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
