census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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