I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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