Bisexual people are plain selfish.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
