guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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