so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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