I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
