I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
