you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
