Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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