I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
