Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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