32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
