Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
