i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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