thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm too high and old for this...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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