I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
