I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize