Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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