dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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