your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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