i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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