Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Randomize
