I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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