Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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