if i can run in heels then i can drive
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize