I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
