i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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