So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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