He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
